Sianz....

another 4am

2011-12-24T03:53:00.002+08:00

This is just weird that I should be actually blogging again. But I guess I need to think about lots and lots of stuff. All the memories I had in Secondary School, very memorable and many regrets in my life. Once I heard that we should do things such that we dun regret, but ends up I do things that make me regret instead. I want to have those relationships to be normal again. All the friendships that seem unstable and the loneliness I that hate. Well, one thing is for sure is that I wanna help those out there who are lonely and putting a smile in front of others. I wanna know how and help them whenever I can. Well, there are many that I care about and definitely not just girls. Guys too of course. It is just that we have so much to do that we take some of our friends for granted. I wanna care, but some just doesnt want me to. I wanna know more about other ppl but just some ppl dun let me enter into their lives. What should I do? take my chances as i ask almost everyone I know until I am still left lonely in my world? What should I do to make this world a better place? That is the question that has been ringing in my head.

I've been thinking about the things I wanna learn and what I should learn. Excel, Adobe, Japanese, Guitar, Drums, Webpages, games, read books and prepare for JC life. So much I wanna do and learn. But are these things gonna define me? are these things going to help me in my ultimate purpose on this earth given by God and are these things gonna help me in my dreams to make the world a better place? Well, define BETTER.

How would I try to make this place a better place? can someone tell me? I wanna do it. I dun have the guts to do it. I dunno exactly how I am actually gonna do it. I need to see it. Well, for that, I dun even know what are my strengths and weaknesses. That is really bad. At this time, I would have realised what I can do and what I cant do very good. Perhaps I hate limiting myself to something I cannot do. That is what I hate. I guess this has been also ringing in my head. TWO things. " I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" and "Impossible is Nothing" These are what seemingly telling me that I can do everything if actually put an effort to it. Well, it is true for most parts. But I need to even define those that I would actually take more time doing it compared to any other thing. And what's more, I have not been actually putting effort in everything I do. I dunno why. Maybe I am just lacking the drive to do things. But whatever it is, I need to know what is the good and the bad of me. I need to promote myself in about another 4 years. Probably in Uni or another 8 years, after my uni. I wonder what I am going to be like when my JC life ends. I wanna get those scholarships, and I WILLL. I DUN CARE WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GE T IT. I WILL. Though there may be many distractions to divert my attention from it, but I will be there. And I will make sure of it.

As for the social stuff, THAT is so not good. or maybe is it just me. I cant seem to get a good pal to talk to me day and night. Although I think that would be entirely inappropriate. We dun have that many topics to talk about every day. How much time are we actually silent in a day? I think at least half.( unless you are always talking to yourself). LOL. But anw, so is that actually possible? I mean tallking constructively and not just bullshit. This thought about loneliness really kills me, day after day. And i miss this girl. But I really dunno if i actually like her. The contact was just so brief, it is as though I never even talked to her.

I think should go and sleep. I wanna do more stuff tmr. Nights.

what a way to live~

2011-12-18T01:20:00.003+08:00

now, after Os, life is kinda got bored the moment ended. as i expected, i still preferred it when i had exams. cos now everything felt lonely like before... This is just a terrible feeling.

But now that, I have so many things i wanna do. The girl that I have feelings for, she seem so special, so perfect. I so wanna hope i forget it all. It seems all so impossible anyway. and i got a feeling i wont cherish her:( I am such a lousy guy anw... and what's more is that she is attached. Why ruin something that she cherishes so much?

BUT. i still did something really really dumb. Something that I am going to regret for the rest of my life. I dun think i will forget till the day i die... SIGH. what a jerk I am la.

anyway, a month has passed since O levels ended and hols will be coming to end.. dam worried about my results la.

AND I WANNA KNOW MORE MORE MORE PEOPLE:DDD SO COOL:D HAHAHA

but dam worried how ppl may look at me leh:P like got a number have super wrong impressions about me from rumors..

Aiya. that aside, i need to really prepare myself for work and NS alr. I think i need to get more than just mentally prepared la. that is what i have been trying to do these few weeks-.- but it is utterly stupid la. time to start doing real stufff. OOPS>.< FORGET ReAD NEWSPAPER TODAY AGAIN!!!

hmm. wanna learn so much, but now not alot of time alr. and i need to help organise so many stuff~~ next time then blog le. BYE~

bla. times.

2011-09-05T01:19:00.002+08:00

I never ever fail to feel terrible about my own life.

It always feel that I am lacking something, behind some sheet or just being restricted by guilt, regret, or just dunno what the hell i am doing.

Sometimes, I do some crazy stuff to people. That probably freaked alot of people alr. Dunno what the hell i am thinking anw. It is like, I want get out of this wretched thinking, my way of life. It is just so unbearable. I guess what life is that it ain't gonna be that simple. It is not about the studying. But what comes along with it. I dun mind studying, in fact, I want to know more about many stuff.

Socially, i feel so unrest. Never ever feel a moment of comfort at all. It is always me against the world. Times, where I want to please everyone, although knowing that we should "Do the right thing than to what is popular". It just feels like a need to please everyone and be a friend to everyone. But someone told me today, that I have to choose those that I wish to cherish. And give up on the rest. But I kept thinking, I dun want to do that, and WHO ARE THOSE PEOPLE? those people that I would like to cherish...

I cant exactly know either. It just makes me lost.

I mean I am a person who just cares for others, no matter who it is. But it just seems that everyone is not appreciating for who I am. Although i know that I can be weird sometimes, and REALLY freak ppl out, even I sometimes dunno what my intentions are.

thinking that i am really going thru alot although I am not. not living my life carefree, thinking about too much stuff. WHile ppl can relax and say, lets play AND ROCK!

I am just like thinking of all the stuff that I should not think about. Sometimes, I wish I could stop thinking. But i rather make it to good use. It is when I should come with conclusions on what to do at certain times, and not think so much about it.

ARGH. I dun want to lose another friend. I just made myself sound like some crazy dude even though I dun like her. Being a jerk to so many ppl and not being considerate. Those are traits I dislike, and yet here I am being one. WTH is wrong with me!?!?!?!? I have no idea.

LOST. SERIOUSLY. I need a direction, Lord.

CHinese o's coming in 4 days~

2011-05-26T21:39:00.002+08:00

Zzzz. unable to set my mind at ease. Dunno if i am just bored or just irritated with myself.

I cant study at all. Chinese ah chinese. I dunno how to get A1 anymore. I am losing confidence. probably cos the tests all i really sucks esp zuo wen....

I am like staring at all the notes given by Luo lao shi. But dunno how am i going to absorb anything. My brain alr cannot take it.. ZZZZ..

Here we go again. the problems once arise.

I have no idea what enemies I have raised.

I have no idea what exactly I have done wrong.

Then the next thing ppl can say is that you are the wrong. You shouldnt even be on this earth.

Thanks for that sarcastic crap and whatever may come next.

I am not here to entertain losers like these please.

I have a life. I am a person, like any other person on this earth.

If you have nothing better to do, please PLEASE get a life. I think you have not grown up yet.

I dont want you to pity me for what I am. If you think that you know everything about me, think again.

Please dont think that you understand me.

Hopefully there is someone really and truly there for me. If there is, I thank you for you.

Being in this state. I feel as though my life has been flashing with problems here and there.

I have not done much. and SO many things have been happening.

Once again, I embark on my journey to do more things but with the relentless problems that lay ahead of me. I dun wanna offend anyone. JUST WHEN DID I DO ANYTHING CRAPPY?

EVEN WHEN I DID, I WILL TRY TO APOLOGISE. INDEED THERE WERE ONCE OR TWICE WHERE I DID SOMETHINGS OUT OF ANGER. IF I HAVE OFFENDED YOU IN SOME WAY OR ANOTHER JUST TELL ME. I WILL APOLOGISE. thanks.

I dun wanna live my life with regrets.

AND I WILL try my best to do it.

From this, and today was career day. It may me think once again. What path should I be taking? I think that my passion does not lie anywhere. My strengths do not seem like strengths anymore and my weaknesses seem so evident. Am I that useless? Like what many have told me, they feel that it is so. Some say I am still okay, some say I am useful. I dun know what I am anymore. But I think the most important thing is to follow our hearts. Follow my heart. Something I had long wanted to give up. The moment things screwed up in primary sch when I did that. Many things I did were acts of impulse. I dunno what is the right thing to do anymore. Like I dunno how, somehow enemies and ppl who dun like me just keep popping out. I have no idea. I have no idea what exactly I did wrong. Once I read in a book. If there is something wrong in the relationship between u and others, and u dun seem to see anything wrong, the problem probably lies in yourself. But I cant see it. I try to act as normal, as quiet. After all keeping quiet will not get you in trouble. But I still cant see it. What exactly is wrong?

day before prelim physics

2011-05-17T23:05:00.002+08:00

BLABLABLA. you want to talk cock? you think you can control me arhs?

I NEED TO GIVE YOU MY FREAKING SCHEDULE EVERYDAY? Fk you la.

WORSE IS YOU NOT EVEN MY MOTHER. even my mother i oso wont give.

Being under control of someone is something that everyone hates. DUN BE AN IDIOT.

YOU THINK I CARE IF MY RESULTS SUCK? I DO IT CAUSE I FEEL LIKE DOING IT.

NOT FOR ANY FKING SAKE. NOT LIKE YOU. DO IT CAUSE YOU HAVE TO DO IT FOR YOUR FUTURE. NO WONDER YOU SO FAILURE. TRYING TO BE KIND AND NOT TELL THIS TO YOU DIRECTLY. I HATE PPL TALKING BEHIND THEIR BACKS TOO, BUT YOU. REALLY. TALK. TOO. MUCH.

zzzz nothing beats a fking nagger when they think you are incapable.

Worst is my dear family cant tell me anything real. nothing real.

Seems like a freaking act. Are you really my family?

wasted my weekend. doing nothing but slacking. loosen up alot and really want to enjoy my studying. but some faggots just cannot understand. YOU THINK STARE AND DO MORE then your RESULTS BETTER? SOME PPL ARE DIFFERENT HOR. I am not your ordinary person canz. I am special and I want to continue believing that. SO MANY FKERS OUT THERE WANNA MAKE ME THINK I AM USELESS? I DUN WANT TO. although at times I would but I am NOT GIVING IN.

whatever you wanna do, trust yourself. ONLY YOU know the answer to all your problems. The trust that ppl give when given a chance is really a morale booster. I am so going to do that to others. I really need to build my social life. I wanna treat everyone with respect and interest. Not too much GLing alr. I AM SO GOING TO DO IT. BE IT GUY OR GIRL. (i tend to be too interested in girls^^)

alot of things to do. alot of things i wanna do. Courage and time is what I need. relaxing from the normal activities can be really good sometimes. Need to build up my relationships and alot of work to be done for all my skills and studies. GONNA DO IT~

Change.

2011-05-15T22:32:00.003+08:00

Although there were many screwed up crap that happened to me, I have to life, Don't I?

After all, I dun feel far from God and I don't think I need to die because of these problems. But getting depressed isn't a good thing either. Anyway.

I need to find out the reasons for my problems. Thing is, what alot of books and philsophies say that if you find that the problems is not obvious or you wanna solve your problems, maybe you should look at yourself in the mirror. It may really be my problem instead, the way I act, the way I react to people. I dun notice myself half the time though. I have no idea what stupid impression ppl have of me. I have been asking but I have no idea whether they are really truthfully saying the real stuff.

Damnit man, I feel that I should really go to God. At the same time, I need to find the problems that I have with myself. I would also say this larhs.. after all, I am not perfect either.. I have irrational actions and thoughts before. I regret some of it already. Maybe I should live my life as a form of redemption or for the greater good of this earth. Although we shouldnt indulge ourselves with the luxuries of this world and stuff.. but I think we should all make the best of what we have. BUT where is the encouragement and motivation manz. Nobody is there as usual. Sometimes I have to do this alone. WITH GOD. but He cant be there physically. Only mentally and spiritually. WHO's going to be there for me physically? Thus, I need to solve my social issues first. REALLY NEED TO READ THAT BOOK OF MINE. It seems really true. But they are by right all instinctive actions, just that we dun have the courage to do it.

continue later if i have the time. need to study geog. Screw it.

Really long time since the last post. OH WELL

2011-05-14T22:31:00.002+08:00

I have decided to start blogging again. I need to vent my emotions and stuff. HOPEFULLY SOMEONE OUT THERE READING WILL HELP ME AND NOT MAKE LIFE WORSE THAN IT IS>.<

somehow through this secondary 4 year, I dun feel motivated to do anything. The main priority is still studying but... I dun see myself working towards any goal. I dun think I am even worth anything now. All that I have worked for seems useless. It all seems retarded.

Will anyone treasure me? Will anyone even notice if i disappear from the face of this earth?

The depression kind of stuff is all coming back.

It is as though... SO WHAT IF I GO TO TOP 5 JCs? SO WHAT IF I GO TO UNIVERSITY?

what would happen? I get an unstable job and unable to survive on this earth? It may be true. But whatsover.. it is how u perspect life. If you are happy, WHY NOT?

BUT i cannot find that happiness. those goals. those dreams. and my future.

NOTHING AT ALL IS IN MY LIFE.

My friends. My family. EVERYONE. Is not there already.

ALL I have is God.

But I always keep clinging to the relationships with the rest, the humans on earth. Hoping that something would change between me and all of them. BUT nothing.

I guess I really have to go to God if I hope have anything in my life.

HUMAN nature. The selfish instinct. It really kills all relationship with me and others. I MEAN LIKE, SO YOU DONT TREAT ME AS YOUR FRIEND? OR YOU JUST DUNNO HOW TO HAVE FRIENDS? it is as though you cant sacrifice a little for your friend. for that simple request, and dont trust your friend no more?

What is the world coming to? Selfish people? I really have no strength to face the world. Not even staying in my house. Irrational thinking. NO sense of consideration. ONLY in the name of STUDYING. then there will be consideration. OH WOW. why I am not surprised? I just wanna go learn something that i am really passionate about and do it for life. I am not going to do some stupid corporate business or be in some dam fking office job. I feel it isnt the place for me. Like those ADHD kind of ppl. Cannot sit still one.

AIYA screw this. I wonder if anyone would still read this. I DUN really care about my life anymore. Maybe I should consult a counsellor. I really have issues and even suicidal thoughts. But it i as though I still wanna keep my 'face'. I have a reputation in my school, within my friends. Be it good or bad, It is still a reputation. I dunno why I just feel like being another person and just do something crazy. BO BALLS? nope. I just think very rationally and do things like a good boy. DUN really go against the rule. As though everyone is watching my every move and grading me, I tend to keep my face in good conditions. However, when i was a kid, I would cry in public like nobody's business. I really dun want to care. But the reputation and how ppl think of you is like the MOST important thing in our lives.

Dun wanna talk too much. Need to study alr. FOR THE SAKE. OF FK. I DUNNO =.= idiotically i dun wanna do anything. WOULD ANYONE BE THERE FOR ME? WOULD YOU TALK TO ME? IF ANY FKERS OUT THERE WANNA GL ME. FK OFF.

:(

2010-08-29T16:18:00.003+08:00

I guess my life has not changed yet. somehow even change... it got worse than it should be.
I just dunno what to do with my crappy life anymore.
I feel dam screwed. Nothing seems to be like what is supposed to be.
I am just losing the strength to carry on with my damned life.
Can someone just kill me?
I guess these depression feeling is really taking over me.
you may see me as an all right guy.
seems to be really able to take all the pressure..
take all the bullshit that everyone throws at me.
To be the one of the best.. to be successful in everything.
I want to be. but it is just to overwhelming.
I may seem strong, but in me.. a broken feeling i have, A heart that is so weak.
I dont think my heart can take anymore of this.
nobody is giving me the help i need. i cant feel it.
i dont fathom the reasons why so... nobody seems to be there, to be with me.
worst of all... dunno if i can open up to that person.
Plenty of things to do. I am not even in JC yet... if i can reach to JC even...
why does it alr feel like it is too much to handle.
even thinking to live day by day.. it feels like why should i continue the next day?
feeling really non-existant in the world. It doesn't matter if I am really here anyway.
There is no difference...

nothing is going right.

2010-08-04T23:00:00.002+08:00

ppl used to say. it's alright, it's ok... i dunno why.. but these words seem so common that it never seems to be a word of comfort anymore.
Nothing seems to be able to prevent me from worrying, from thinking, from deciding what to do from now on. I have to do something. i just dunno what i should do.. Everytime I hear the few words, i just want to kill myself as i would start thinking about the whole process and all the crappy stuff that i did. It really makes me regret. Sometimes acting on impulse and your hope isnt bringing u to where u feel at best. It just feels all wrong. I hope that everything will come to and end.... Everything. Really Everything is telling me to do something, trying to guide me out of all this. Be it from devotion to talks by teachers, to zuo wen questions, to homework, to words from all my friends. It all seems to know what i am thinking but without actually knowing it. Probably a sign from God on what to do. but i still feel that is so difficult.
Nothing seems to go right what it is supposed to be. Many say that this is how life is supposed to be.. for u to solve, for u to spend time do it. Time is not in my hands., and I cant seem to solve so many problems at once.. The expectations for me are alr set by many. not normal ones, but fairly high.. i want to achieve better but everything is pulling me down. Hearing a word of encouragement can be so rare and difficult. I hardly hear it anymore. Rather i dun think i will hear it anymore. Somehow ppl are not thinking of how I feel, how I am feeling, How things are supposed to be done. EVERYONE IS FREAKING SELFISH. what is their problem. only thinking about themselves... i know this wolrd is difficult, a battlefield where u are alone when everything is against you and problems that are set for u, are just so difficult to solve... but isnt there any way, anyone to help u? i dun believe so. but for so long.. i have not seen anything. Not a single living person on this earth that has been doing that for me or anyone.
-sigh- i jsut dunno how to put it into words. those ignorant, selfish, brainless people.. i am lost on what to do with u all. dont blame me. i will want to do what is right and not the popular or something that everyone will appreciate me for.
Gratefulness seems to be oso missing in many ppl. chances are give to them for a reason and they dun appreciate it. Instead, they boast abt it. and show that they are better. i dunno why. it just seems all stupid. Will u be able to get that privillege if it werent for me? again. how selfish. how unthoughtful.
I thought u knew what to do. You have known me more than anyone else. why do u still have to ask me abt such trival stuff? is it that difficult to understand me. i should know me best. just shut up, enocurage and everything will be alright.
Sorry. I dun want to do anything bad to u. i dun want to be an asshole. being the one that u cry for, someone taht u have to give up. becos of my stupid actions. really sorry. i will make it up to you.
Thanks for those trying to comfort me. to those who try to understand me. try to see my problems and knowing what is the limit.... Thanks. but sorry. i am still unable to get thru this just yet. I want to...so get out of this irritating whole lot of crap. how distracting.

life is FREAKING BUSY.

2010-07-25T22:12:00.001+08:00

wth. these few weeks i have really been super super busy.

it is like the whole week confirm got some activity. i want to come home to sleep oso cannot one. too busy le. AIYO. i very scared cannot cope with all the different aspects in my life. There are my studies, my CCA and so many other aspects i have to keep up with. I am starting to think about what has been the tradition for the post in my CCA, that the head of the Boys' Brigade will have lousier results in the o-levels. i srsly want to be different. i want to be someone who can cope with all these aspects of my life. and still be a great leader, a great person that ppl will look up and know. But still.. it all seems so difficult. i guess. the only way to deal with all of these is to really do the best for EVERY single thing. WHICH IS SUPER FREAKING DIFFICULT.

-sigh- i guess the only thing i can hope is that.. when the going gets tough, tough gets going.. HAHA. but i can only HOPE it will happen...

But i guess with the accompaniment of friends then u will feel much better. at least not so bad even if you are busy and have many things to do.. FRIENDS ARE THE BEST.

I will be there for you. no matter how far we are apart. i just hope u will be there waiting for it all to end.. why does it feel that my life isn't easy to live? nothing seems to go my own way. just feels so difficult to live up to every expectations that are set for me. BUT i will try. i will really want to try to accomplish every single of them..

back once agn

2010-07-13T22:16:00.003+08:00

FINALLY. dunno why but just felt like blogging. feel like my blog is super dead.
Been busy during the hols. alot of camps. alot of activities. I think it was the most fruitful holidays that i have ever had!!
Now that sch has begun, time to straighten up again.. With CCAs going on and many subjects and topics to cover and revise, I just cant slack anymore.. Time organisation has to be more proper and punctual le. even the time to play games have to drop drastically. UNTIL i have the time to play...
I guess so much has changed. the people arnd me, the things arnd me and Even ME myself.. or at least i think so... But with the many new ppl i have met and the many new experiences, i feel totally different. AND more busy too.. -sigh- like there is no time to STOP and rest a while..
Also.. dunno why i cant stop thinking abt being more enlightnened by everything.. it is as if i have come across a different thinking in addition to the many i have.. It seems that everyone's events have come acrossed with me. Like I am connected to as many things as possible.
I guess the World Cup fever has past.. no more late nights on watching soccer.. Feels like after I have stayed up late.. my reaction to everything has been slowed. from reaction to the soccer ball to my ability to do stuff... In addition, my whole freaking body is aching. maybe too much soccer and stupid stuff. feels super tired and not do anything for a few days..

The time has passed. And the result is like this. what i do now doesn't matter. I cant do much about it. If it is really meant to be like what He wants it to be, then it shall be. For it is Him who plans for us and that we should trust in Him. Although regret and confusion fills my mind, there are somethings that we cant do anything about it. Therefore i shall not ponder too much about what has happened but look forward to the future.

New.

2010-06-02T01:16:00.002+08:00

YO guys. i just came back from my 7 day japan humanites trip.
It was fun and lots of new information in my brain.
playing lots of werewolves and seeing the japanese over there is definitely an experience..
-sigh- but lots have changed.
i guess it's time to let go.
i look up to myself and feel renewed.
i have to change for the better. and the better i hope it would be.
time passes in an instant. so let not waste the opportunites that lay in front of you.
For it may be gone an instant. but doing too rashly isn't much of a good thing either.
never seem to see the ending of my decisions till it is over and outcomes has appeared.
For you are the only one who makes all the decisions.
For you are the one who is the Great Almighty.
For you are in my life, you are my life.

Great troubles i have faced. The changes in my decisions.
Hope it will be alright.

sigh

2010-05-25T16:50:00.002+08:00

haiz. been so long since i blogged.. i guess somethings dont happen the way u want to. but some things.. just end up just right.
Life is full of surprises. u might not know what may come next. you might not know who is there for you..
Even so.. there may be some ppl just behind your back.. hating u to the core.
I guess that's what i learnt.. that i may have all these situations the moment i took on such a responsiblity.
Sad life isn't it? but i would say although there may be some ppl that reject u in their hearts but accepting u in their life. Haiz. life is such a reality that we all must face. no matter how our relationships with our friends and those arnd us may be.. it's part of life.

now... taking the role of the head of my cca.. i guess somethings will change. be it positive or negative. i still have to understand it. Also.. being in the SYF is a role that i want to take. and i was selected the reserve for the flag bearer.. not bad(:
those arnd me. the ppl. that i cherish. hopefully some will never change and some will change for better.
my heart was given to you. i feel so lost and empty. but the result never changes. and there is nothing i can do. > i dont know how u feel abt me. but will be there for u when u need me.

how's life?

2010-03-29T19:59:00.002+08:00

Secondary school is really full of surprises. wow.
alot of unexpected things can really happen..
aiyo. but like i said. Time to work hard...
True enough.. like what the reverant from st. andrew's said on my sch's founders...
the 3 life lessons.

One. Work Hard.
without that 1% of hard work, no matter how much talent or potential you have.. it does not matter.

Two. Make your goals clear.
having you focused on that few specific goals, you would not have a problem hesitating on working towards the goal. No problem on doing things for that goal.

Three. Never give up.
Nothing is Impossible. Never give up and you will succeed . Be it on any goal or ambition.

I think these life lessons are srsly dam useful. esp when i am going to take over my cca, for my studies and many things i would like to learn and do. GO on and persevere!~
The last week has been a busy week... i had 4 days of cca. not to mention have to chiong thru to finish my hw. so difficult to manage. but i did manage it. YES! but i dont think that is the end of the endless busy days i have this year... anw.. time to do my hw le.
Byez.

Straighten up!

2010-03-23T22:04:00.002+08:00

OK! time to straighten up. work hard. play hard.
got so much in store for me this term. have to put in my best for the rest of my secondary life.
There's my studies, taking over my cca, NAPFA.. and alot of minor yet important details.
-sigh- Love is srsly a mysterious thing. It can happen so suddenly without noticing.
I have to be really serious and work hard on these aspects that can affect my life after secondary school. SO.. if you see me slacking off.. you can come to me and scold me. I would want that to wake me up from playing too much.. THANKS.

Learning for my upcoming elit test.. impression and feelings.
Impression is something that someone sees in you.
Feelings is something that someone feels about you.
I have heard all kinds of different impressions that alot have on me..
I feel that these impressions will help me improve. so feel free to tell me. be it good or bad.
I want to learn from my mistakes and change.
Feelings... something that is difficult to describe.. but it is something everyone has it in their hearts.
Most of the time.. not telling anyone abt it. but it is an unknowingly important factor on how you face your problems and people.
It is also very impt to control it. over-reacting isn't good. not reacting isn't good.
An Advice. NEVER. NEVER let your emotions and feelings guide you.
it will lead you nowhere.

Time to step up to the role of what is expected of me.
Shan't let anything else stop me.
LETS GO AND SHOW THE WORLD WHAT WE ARE MADE OF!

life is a short and miserable thing.

2010-03-06T23:06:00.004+08:00

-sigh-.. if some of u may have seen my previous blog post... dont worry abt it.
it isnt sth for anyone to worry or to feel guilty abt.
aft all. i was the one who started it. the crappy stuff i did.. i just dont want to rmbr it.

anw. Life is something so short, so busy, so tiring.
Wouldnt everyone wish that time would hold still..
for one to take a breather from work,
for one to cherish the exceptional moments,
or even to forget everything for a while.
because the fact that is everyone is tired of what is happening to themselves..
it is like it's so busy, no time to rest. or just no time to enjoy.
i guess that is how life is...-sigh-..
how i wish time would really hold still.....
forget all the bad stuff and stressful stuff for a moment..
leaving me to rest.

i got a hypothesis.. hmm. those ppl who watch love dramas tend to be more emotional or too cold blooded.. cause love dramas are filled with struggles and sadness between the 2 main characters. that the viewers are so affeceted by it.. and may even cry.
I guess... to show how much a person loves u.. is to test him/her..
only thru real-life experiences and face to face talking.. one can know them better..
only thru actions and not words.
these are just some of the things that show. are there anymore?

As a sec 3 now, so much has changed... now.. we are being brought to be more and much more independent. we have to take the responsiblities of everything. plan, organise, teach, demonstrate and lead the rest to a certain objective. it seems such a big step.. from sec 2. But i think that this big step may be a super ultra important step that may change a person's life. I am willing to take on this step and challenge. And help to lead my cca and take on my responsiblites of a student, a son, a friend, a leader and a child of God.

i know u would sooner or later not care.it is as i thought it would be. i guess it would be better like that.. for i know, nothing is going to change. and i hope it would be best for the happiness of many.

her.

2010-03-02T19:12:00.003+08:00

i guess it isnt going how i wanted it to be.. but abit similar..
it is difficult for anyone to go thru this...
but it seems this isnt the first time.
-sigh- finding the solution is difficult... should i just stop this and end all this pain?
but no matter.. i will be there quietly.. helping you whenever you need help.
i wont just stop here.

life is hard.

2010-03-01T15:15:00.002+08:00

wow. one month has passed alrdy..
have been really really busy.. esp during the cny period..

recently kind of sprained my leg becos of i was playing soccer..
so much has happened and i cant really exactly what i did in the past month..
i guess.. when u are really getting older, more things to do.. u have shorter memories.. unless it is recent or memorable..

some of u might wonder... why i put "so touching i cried.." on my fb..
cause it was really quite emotional.. that old drama.. of 2007.
it is corner with love or in chinese, 转角¤遇到爱..
omg la. the sadness is srsly dam sad. but the funny also dam funny...
makes me feel a useless idiot. that i cant do anything..
but some parts of the drama super unbelievable.. like they can suddenly say they break up and suddenly say they tgt..
but i wouldnt say it is impossible.. if they truly cant live without each other or really love each other alot.. it can happen..

also.. there has been a problem with the grping for the recruit hike.. -sigh- i dun feel like being so bad to ppl.. it is like, i am so super selfish. Sorry to those that i may have hurt.

Time has really passed super duper fast. i dun rmbr anything.. only rmbring who i miss.. and who i am. is there anyway to ensure i dont forget all these precious memories in my tiny head of mine?
maybe a diary would help. but time is also little. what should i do? The ONLY thing that i have decided, is to make every minute, every second of my life count and enjoyed.

what should i do? without seeing ur face, i feel so lost. i feel that i have a missing piece in my life and my heart. but when i can see u, the time feels so short and i tend to not cherish every moment of it.. do i really lack confidence and time? or is it that it wasn't meant to be?

wa.. about one month diff

2010-02-09T16:06:00.003+08:00

wa. it has been almost a month since i last blogged.. Chinese New Year is COMING! woots. but i still havent got a new bag... feels wierd if i were to carry an old bag to NEW year..
guess.. i have been too busy.. busy until some tests.. oso cmi.. so far only 1 fail... which is geog-.=.. never study..
somemore de emath.. kns. so many careless mistakes den i get 10/15..zzz.

U GO SEE MY FACEBOOK>.<.. de pic so black... stupid dam burnt sia.. cos i went to kayak star 1 even though i got put some suntan lotion. still so dark.. i dun mind darker abit larhs.. but it is super dark.. looks wierd on me.. so dark.. dat my hand darker den phek yang's one sia.. lols. i am thinking of finding a sport that is non-contact.. cos my father and my sis dun wan me play contact sports.. scared i get injured.. i dun mind.. after all i dun mind learning new stuff... BUT. I still want to play soccer.. ohya.. i heard that there is some leadership camp for sec3s this year.. during march.. i wanna go.. but march period i got like 2 camps to alrdy.. lols. hopefully i can go..(: OH.. just realise i havent mentioned it in my old post.. i got my new phone! aino.. not bad.. but i have freaking no songs.. cos my computer doesnt have any.. stupid...someone supply me songs please!!

Recruitment has been eventful.. recruits still got a long way to go.. so slack sia they.. i guess. when we were sec1s.. it was around the same though.. but some just really.. -sigh- cmi.. ANw... that it is.. how's my one month? boring? den wait for the next post(: i just dun wan to do something stupid anymore. i dun wan any mistakes to cause unhappiness or trouble.. i dun wan to be getting angry becos of what anyone does.. it will just all go wrong.

2010!

2010-01-13T17:33:00.002+08:00

LOLS. my first post on 2010...
it has really been a long time since i last blogged...
hols have really been quite boring.. wish i had more stuff to do..
anw.. HAPPY BELATED NEW YEAR!!
lols.. is there such a thing?
So far it has been a busy start, a cool start and interesting events have already passed..
Such as...........

~New Class - 3H
~Cleanliness I/C for de class comm....
~Being a Recruit Instructor for the sec 1s this year...
~A great orientation, with the australians visiting..
~BB day
~A few interesting stuff...

About my new class... i can say that it is quite a noisy class.. propably cos there are so many boys la.. de teachers... most are ok larh.. but de teachers teaching our humanities.. abit boring and stuff... not becos of the subject but the teacher.. Overall, still quite a cool and good class to be in(:

Me being de cleaniless I/C.. abit wierd la. but i guess juz do my job.
BUT then agn... most ppl would not do their stupid duty..
and for those who think that it is unfair... i am really sorry..
cause i really chose them by random. by drawing lots..
so i believe that it is already fair... SO PLEASE NO COMPLAINS! juz do your duty!

hahas. this one.. abit quite expected it.. and wanted to(:
but it seems that it may keep my daily scheldulte quite tight...
cos like 2 or 3 times a week got cca... including my guitar and tuition... it's abit busy..
But i think i still can handle it.. by organising myself tightly.. keeping a notebook to help me rmbr de impt stuff..
I cant wait till i meet the sec 1s that will join siaz... Hope they are a good batch with many different talents.. and not slackers and jokers.

o.o... now it's about orientation..
had like only 7 trainings before de real one. on friday.. 8/1/2010.
Luckily.. we did not really screw up la..
and also BB from mostly australia came that day.. kinda pressuring...
but it was a great experience... their uniforms so different. and they are like so big size..
There was even an old lady... i respect!(:
being able to stay in de BB for so long.. and in a Boys CCA.. it's quite cool..

den it was non-stop sia... de following week..
we had BB day - 12 Jan..
ohya my cousin's bday... havent celebrate with him yet...
den we came to sch at like 6.15... with our BB uniform...
kinda early to come to sch.. but ya, we did..
worse thing is.. there was like and NRIC photo taking... and i had PE.
SO i had to bring my uniform and my PE attire..
so troublesome... den my photo taking was juz after my PE..
When we are SUPER SWEATY la..
dumb sch.. dunno how organise one..

WOW. almost come to de end of the post..
de interesting stuff.... kinda bad to type it out in de blog.. so find it out yourself(:
but it has to do with de relationships between some ppl.. hahas..
Out of nowhere... these things happen.. i guess during de hols, many things can happen..
BUT i hope is that they will stay that way.. or end it quickly(not trying to be bad.. but is so that de pain will not be SO PAIN..) GOD BLESS.

OK! i shall end here... BYES!

life is back where it was..

2009-11-26T00:40:00.000+08:00

i guess i dunno why.. this feeling of emptiness sometimes juz fills my heart and body... i dunno wad to do with my life sometimes.. i can go on living the life that i think i am supposed to live.. but if feels wrong. ok.. this hols.. have been watching one-piece... sims3... dotaing... mahjonging... pokering.. bridging.. taiti-ing..guitaring...ps3ing.... and alot of crappy stuff.. -sigh- feels so retarded.. sometimes.
GETTING ready for the upcoming chalet... 2K chalet! wooo!!! lols... get to slack like crap sia..
although i hope is not those normal routine stuff again.. -sigh-ohya.. i have never been to aranda before.. i wonder how it is like.. hmm.... nvm... all's well that ends well...
i can be there for anyone out there... but is there anyone out there for me? maybe juz a little help there by de side.. could save a little soul... to bring happiness...

POST!

2009-11-11T02:15:00.002+08:00

wa long time no blog... lazy bones must start to work again..
there is so much work to be done.. so many things to do.. but lazy lazy lazy...
hahas. guess so much has passed...i havent been blogging since end of sch..
hiash...
ok. START.
erm. i have been playing soccer.. but not much of it becos of the stupid rain..
zzz... oh ya.. been to the gym.. tamp swimming pool tat one..
sleptover at andrew's.. becos went to watch de chelsea and manu match which was 1-0..
erm.. oh ya. 1F BBQ! and some outings by 2K..
kinda.. of nostalgic.LOLS.
sth of that crappness came out of me...
nth much liao..lots of rounds of bridge...
dats all..
INCOMING events.
lols. erm BB drill test, adventure test on fri.
BB camp from sat to mon..
oh ya. sub combi streaming results...IMPT.
den nth much le la.. de rest all de same .. either dota, bridge, play soccer, eat.. and play games..
-sigh-
hope u are happy... during the hols.. after all u being without frens sometimes really suck..
but anw. i will be there if u need.. if u feel u cant take anymore.. juz tell me..(:

sad..

2009-10-27T20:41:00.001+08:00

-sigh- i think i feel super disgusted.. oh my gosh..
is not de person.. but doing the wrong thing..
aiyo..
shall not talk too much about it.

the case.. seems almost be really closing.. but i fear for the worst.. as some parent wants to complain to the school to bring up the case again..
stupid.. i noe they are trying to make sure de school is teaching their child to not be bad.. but really. it isnt de school's fault.. it is each individual's fault..
-sigh-..
i feel so sad.. lols..
i dunno if i shud continue this. my mind is telling me to not think about it anymore..
but my heart tells me otherwise...
what shud i do>?
can someone show me de direction?
can u show me?

i am sure there is something that i can do...

2009-10-23T00:37:00.002+08:00

Hiiash... i guess this aft exams isn tat all fun anymore.. it is juz more of relaxing...
so many things have already happened..
de mini-olympics have ended.. my team got champion for soccer..
and de most recent event..
-sigh-dun wanna talk abt it..
and to that same exact idiot who wrote on my tagboard... i really pity u...
do u really have such a boring life that u have to make fun of ur fren up to this extend..
if so, i really dunno wad to say. i dun even noe if u are still my fren..-sigh-..

I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush
'Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way about me
It's just too much, just too much
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time girl, are we just friends?
Is there more, is there more?
See it's a chance we've gotta take
'Cause I believe that we can make this into something that will last
Last forever, forever
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
This crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy

Crush by David Archuleta

i am sorry... that i made u feel that way all over again..
i seriously want to make up for you.. but i dunno how i should..
de most basic is to be your side when u need me..
de rest i am not really certain..
but 1 thing i am quite certain..
that i love you...

wa... EOYs over!!

2009-10-18T00:31:00.002+08:00

wa.. finally... end-of-year exams are over...
i can be playing like some siao kia liao....
WOHOO!!!
but.. unfortunately i lost my phone... zzz.. i dun even rmbr wad happened.. den i lost my phone..
-sigh-.. now i may have to wait longer till i can get my new phone...zzz
but luckily.. i can still play! lols..

i dunno why my posts may be dat emo or useless to anyone of u out there..
but i juz feel that some of this info may be helping someone there.. hopefully at the right time..
haizzz..hiash...
this hols.. i am so going to learn lots and lots of stuff and get lots and lots of stuff...
if i dont.. i think my hols will be dam boring and screwed...

i juz cant stop thinking about your face, your feelings and your smile..
it juz seems imprinted in my brain... it seems that it cant be erased...
hiash.. what shud i do?

fustration..

2009-10-12T19:40:00.003+08:00

Fustration... one of de causes of stress...
having de experience of feeling super fustrated... makes me think tat i was feeling wad
most teachers feel with their students..
tat feeling really sucks.. u want to help, want to do it better as a whole...
then everyone else seems to be going against u..
although how much more effort u are trying to put, sacrifice more time than others to make de result de best...
they juz seem not wanting to help, wanting to cooperate...
it is really quite infuriating...

i guess i can only say good luck! for the EOYs for sec 2 start tmr!!!
GEOG AND ENG TESTS!! and 3 more days till we are all free!!

i dont noe wad u feel about me.... but i juz want to let u noe that..
i will be there for u when u need me.. and if u are bored or have nothing to do..
i can be there to talk to u.. to keep u company....
and whatever the result between us may be.. i hope that u would not let a chance slip by like it has before.....

EOY's juz 9 more days...

2009-10-03T09:53:00.001+08:00

i guess everyone's mugging for the coming EOYs....
and me too...
so i am bored and decided to blog!!
lols. i guess this is really the first time i am studying more dilligently...
all my PSLE and other tests.. i so did not.. i was juz slacking thru all my years of study....
tats one of the things i so called regret.. but also thank God for.. cause if i didnt slack,
i may not come to AHS. and meet cool cool ppl.. and many gd frens...
so a bad thing may not always seem bad.. i guess..

-sigh- still got chi tuition homework to do...
zzzzz.... SAVE ME!

下課鐘聲回蕩耳邊　沉沒夕陽倒映我臉
互傳紙條的那畫面　消失斑的光線
秋天氣息感染樹葉　泛黃照片還放桌前
操場上的那些麻雀　隨楓葉紛飛
我們曾經說好的幸福永遠　一直藏在書包的拉鏈
多麼希望回到那年　我們寫的詩篇
好想聽你說說愛我　好像聽你說說想我
這些年你有沒有　曾經想起過我
好像對你說說愛你　好想對你說說想
你這些年你知不知　我常想念著你　想念著你
秋天氣息感染樹葉　泛黃照片還放桌前
操場上的那些麻雀　隨楓葉紛飛
我們曾經說好的幸福永遠　一直藏在書包的拉鏈
多麼希望回到那年　我們寫的詩篇
好想聽你說說愛我　好想聽你說說想我
這些年你有沒有　曾經想起過我
好想對你說說愛你　好想對你說說想你
這些年你知不知　腦袋裏裝的全都是你　全都是你
訴說著我的感受　心裡話　全說出口
好想聽你說說愛我　好像聽你說說想我
這些年你有沒有　曾經想起過我
好想對你說說愛你　好想對你說說想你
這些年你知不知　腦袋裏裝的全都是你　全都是你聽
你說說多愛我　聽你說說想我
謝謝你曾經陪著我　說著我們幸福　的經過

说说

some things aren't meant for u..

2009-09-23T20:35:00.002+08:00

Life sucks... i juz realised that some things cant be urs means cant be urs le.. no matter how hard u try for it..
It has probably set by God that, such things cannot be changed, cannot be better for u anymore... den i get blamed for no reason..
it seriously sometimes makes no sense.. but i guess i have to accept it like my previous previous post.. accept wad God is doing ba... for i guess he has already set a specific road for us...
-sigh-
sometimes i juz really want to drop them and cry my life out... but i dont have de opportunity to do it without anyone looking..it sometimes hurt to deep...

-sigh- love or not to love?

2009-09-22T21:49:00.003+08:00

-sigh- this seems to be bugging me all day...
wad shud i do? shud i ask or wait for it to happen?
-sigh-

from last sunday's sermon, it talks abt how to live a blessed life...
1. Acknowledge the source...
shud accept that whatever that happens to us, we shud accept it, knowing de where it comes from and understand it all comes from de Lord, be it good or bad...
some of us may think that rewards come from our own hard work or it is juz normal things that happen to us.. but we shud be grateful that it has come to us thru rewards and not punishments... for the Lord has shown mercy on us like how He did to the people of Nineveh...

2. Celebrate God's blessings..
we shud be joyful for what He has done for us, be it very large scale or juz sth small like not raining when we are having an event... and so, we must be grateful that we receive such blessings from God.

3. Share God's blessings with others.
we shud share our blessings and not keep it to all ourselves... we must be cheerful givers, like in 2 Corinthians 9:6-8, it says "Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give , not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

Therefore, we should be:
-from credit to contentment
-from consumer to celebrator
-from celebrator to channel

LIVE life to de fullest!

i dunno how u feel..but if u dont feel de same way, juz say..
its ok. juz say it out to me....

cherishing those around us..

2009-09-20T23:56:00.003+08:00

these few days. seems like my mind cant stop thinking...
too many things and too many important things to think of..
On de seminar on de BB character quest, i heard this guy..
he was talking about dealing with stress.. and i totally agree with him.'
EVERYONE of us will go thru low periods in our lives, be it for long periods or short periods,
we tend to do that when we - lose hope of reaching our goals
Some signs to show this are when some ppl lack energy, lack appetite, eat too much or too little, sleep too much or too little or juz really unable to concentrate....

and it is true... i see these signs of myself and many other ppl at one time or another.
it is really heart-breaking to see such things...
but i guess cause we are in stressful teenage years or maybe some family/home problems cause stress..
some worse cases consist of ppl calling u useless and ppl wanting revenge..
but no matter what de reason is, i think tat we shud all be strong and optimistic...
SOME MAY ask.. how to be optimistic..
i guess my answer would be..think that there is always another possibility to the situation... and if one bad thing happens.. think that de next one would be better.. i guess that is how we shud go about dealing with stress..
experts say. overcoming the low's, by increasing energy level to pursue achieveable goals by trying out new ways.
i guess it is true... but most of all..
if we arent de ones with the troubles, we shud always listen and understand ur fren... accept ur fren for who he/she is...
and one saddening thing i see everyday tat is.. de things tat we do to our frens, may actually be de turning point in ur frens' life. so PLEASE watch wad u are doing...and help instead of hurt..

a couple of verses u may refer is..Psalm 103:13-14
It says, "As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed. he remembers that we are dust."
From this verses, shows that God knows what he is doing and will show compassion for whatever we have done. so Don't worry. GOD is there for u when u fall....
DONT LOSE HOPE!

not bad..

2009-09-17T20:59:00.003+08:00

wohoo!! my chinese test is over..i think i will do not bad..
feeling super stressed up.. so many things need to do...
seeing de things around me.. i feel super messed up.. hopefully nothing actually really messes up.. I feel bad abiut the bad things abt today.. i feel that not only ppl have done wrong to my fellow frens.. but i too have done so..
I want to help to patch up de mistakes dat i have done.. I feel so guilty abt it..
but there is juz to much to do..
SORRY, if i have done anything bad to u.. it juz seems such a hard thing to help so many ppl..

everytime before i start the ball, i look at u.
after i start it, my eyes seem to never leave u..
u stand at the corner, not moving around
seeing ur face, all i see is a frown..

i will be there for u if u need me,
no matter what the consequences..
as long as u ask for my accompany,
u can trust tat i am there...

zzz life's full of disappointments, guilt and faults..

2009-09-16T22:40:00.002+08:00

Life's full of guilt, faults and disappointments..

Guilt for the wrong things tat one have made ppl feel bad...
being de regret and uneasiness when u did sth bad to someone...

Faults, blaming one another or blaming urself.... for doing de wrong things.
although one may want it to happen, it happens...
and when u feel blamed for ur actions, u feel guilty and feel disappointed...

Disappointed, a feeling when u are ashamed of what u have done or wad others have done...
although u didnt expect tat person to do it, u feel ashamed that ur good fren has done it..

all these 3 subjects seem to be linked together... and today i have them all at once. it seems such a bad for me isnt it? but wad has been done has been already done and nothing much can be done... for such things are already planned by God. No matter if it is bad or good, God has planned for us to feel this way to maybe remind us to improve for the near future..

-sigh- tmr is chinese test.. hopefully i can get a b3 for this test to pull my CA marks to at least 50 ba...sadzzz..

P.S. Although life and its events doesnt give up, dont give up... for they are actually made for u to prepare for the future.. If u dont improve or prepare for it.. An event may juz knock u out cold... leaving u in deep shame, sadness,loss of confidence or even ur will to live...

stupid tagger..

2009-09-14T20:44:00.000+08:00

-sigh- looking at the response from the tagboard.. the guy really likes me..
dun like my blog still wan to come dee siao me. -.=
whatever it is. ur choice. cont lor. i can delete it anytime i want.

anyways.. i have come to report! my team in Character Quest has won 12 out of 150 teams!! -clap clap- lols. but our sch has come out with a team winning 1ST!!
OWNAGE. they apparently gave prizes to 12th to 1st so ANGLICAN HIGH SCHOOL won de last prize and the first prize!! THANK GOD!!
but to me. it is juz a prize a recognition for ur hard work. there would be 3 ways ppl we will look at the prize..
1. u own or win everybody. nobody is there to win u. most of the times resulting in the super proud ppl..
2. u think it is juz luck. we got it by chance. most of the times resulting in depressed ppl..
3. u think it is ur hard work. u got it because u worked for it and next time u are going to do better. most of the times resulting in hardworking and humble ppl...

we should all think the prize as the 3rd thinking... doesn't it seem like the best thinking?
as long something gives a place or position to ur exams, results, sport matches or anything that gives a placing different from others, we shud treat a good result and continue to improve...
after all the world is improving greatly and super duper fast.. so shud we!

sept hols

2009-09-09T02:12:00.002+08:00

first time i blogging since i felt like blogging..-.= lols.

first time blogging in de sept hols 2009...

trying something or doing something for de first time is always a memorable thing tat will happen.

be it having to fail, get 1st for a competition, trying out for a new sport or skill.. or juz having to do a special something with someone.. it is a great feeling...

be it afraid that u will fail, not having de courage to do, or juz feeling different because of what had happen... it is such a fascinating thing

but as one shud noe.. after having to experience these things after sometime.. one will get sick of it and not feel like doing it again.. -sigh- i guess that is sometimes how i feel when i say it is sianz..i guess it is slways happening to me.. but one way to look at is to be always happy. be always happy at wad u are doing. be it de same old boring thing or wad.. and if bad things come ur way.. u shud also feel happy.. for God has a purpose for me and u..
SO, wadever bad or good things that happen to u.. God has a reason for it.. one may not see wad God is doing straight away.. but like in de bible.. In Habakkuk.. he complains to the Lord for wad he has done to His people.. and we shud be like him.. understand him, accept wad he is doing and trust that wad He is doing is rite..
and to apply this to ur life, not only believe in him but also be like Habakkuk to ur frens, family and ur loved ones. Trust them with ur heart like u have. for it is a reason y u love them so much.
although it may seem wrong at times, but he or she surely has a reason for it..

Hey hey.. if u think that i am feeling down or wad.. i am not hor.. is juz that wad i have gone thru... i wish to share with everyone. for it is a great thing to encourage each other to live and strive for the better..

trust and understnading

2009-08-30T00:49:00.002+08:00

Trust and Understaing is the key factor in any interpersonal occurances....
without trust, there will be no relationships, no secrets shared.. having to cause pressure and feeling lonely... nobody to share ur thoughts and feelings too....
without understanding, ppl will misunderstand u.. thinking tat there is no valid reason for one is doing.. resulting in fights, quarrels and alot more bad things many dont want to happen..
Then, why arent we having such things with our fellow friends? are we afraid of the fact that they might tell it to the rest or is it because u dont want them laugh at u.. or is it tat u think tat they wouldnt understand and help u... whatever it is...
Firstly, we must show care and concern to others, if not.. how would they want to share such thoughts with u? also with understanding, we must know wad is de situation and not anyhow give comments, listening to what the person has to say.. therefore this makes the person gain trust.. able to trust u in anything that the person is saying...

Nowadays, alot of ppl are keeping all this to themselves.. keeping their pressure, sadness and happiness all in their hearts.. nobody to share with....
we should all really open up and hear what our friends around have to share...
life would be so much easier.. so much happier..

love...

2009-08-25T20:48:00.000+08:00

i have been watching a video... it is called 18禁不禁.. this show is about a group of curious bunch of guys and girls... and slowly... couples start to form between them...
i sometimes think.. the ways and coincedental meetings... seem abit fake.. but it does really happen and bring couples together... although it seems awkward for it to happen..
it is really sometimes a blessing in disguise..
Love is a great, powerful thing... it can really make someone happy or unhappy.. depending if u care about de person's feelings.. and not being selfish.. It is also an amazing ability. It is an ability as not everyone has de abilty that can one can handle and control easily...But it inturns can give u strength..to things tat may seem impossible..
love comes because of the trust, understanding and able to accept someone into ur life.. nowadays we can find this so true as before.. maybe it is because we teenagers are being to reclusive to oursleves. and not opening ourselves to others...

any encouragement for anybody may be a turning for someone's life... so we should always to give any form of encouragement whenever is possible... be it if the person did or didnt do well... the feeling of being scolded or jeered at really sucks. so please understand... some people may be feeling uselsss and helpless.. so we should really help them into bringing them back to life...

-sigh- is there anyone out there?

2009-08-16T00:54:00.003+08:00

Friends- it seems everyone has one... but are they really ur true friends? are they there when u need them? playin pranks on frens occasionally is ok, but is it a must to play it on them.. countless times? does it really bring much joy having fun with ur frens like tat? Y cant life be more of trust? Is there anyone i can really trust? someone i can confide in that is able to help me? other than God, is there anybody else? Best friends require lots of trusts and understanding of each other.. if u have one, treasure them as u may not find another that easily.. all bottled up inside of u... all de secrets, joy, laughter, sorrows, events, sharing these between best friends are the best part. sadly there is hardly many i can fully trust and understand me...

-sigh- is there anyone out there?

2009-08-16T00:54:00.000+08:00

back to blogging

2009-08-07T22:56:00.000+08:00

i wish i was in a world where it seems alright..
dam. it is dam irritating.. i cant stand it. the pressure seems much. but shud be able to handle it... -sigh- i guess if u are reading my blog.. it is quite emo, isn't it ? but i think i it is because i think... thinking of what i can do with my life. and asking myself y.. y cant it be like tat?
sometimes, it is tat hard to expect someone to have 2 personalities? it is. but it cant be helped.. one is how i want to live my life, another is when i am thinking and feeling all de emotions run thru me.. -sigh- such a pain.
nvm abt all dat...
SAD... my 2.4km run.. timing got worse by 48 sec... 9.48(aiya.. our sch cheat de so if timing too fast, i dunno..)
tests.. getting bad results..
tio dee-siaoed.. lots..
tio irritated.. wa kns. de whole day oso dam irritated la.

today, juz came back from simei care centre after performing MD(musical drill).. timing screwed up la. cannot hear carefully...sad lorhs...

some personality test i took on facebook.. seems quite true... -sigh-
all abt me..reminds me of how i shud continue my life....

diao.

2009-07-20T22:09:00.002+08:00

wa shit la must be i normally nvr post until nobody wanna look at my blog le. dam. i dam bored now. someone pls save frm this misery. my head hurts. must be get headache le.-.=
-sigh- someone please keep me company.. can someone be at my side, be there for me?
P.s. look at the previous blog post oso..

2009-07-17T15:07:00.003+08:00

i dunno why but i feel hopeless. it seems as if no one is there for me.-sigh- except for those always there for me.As days past by.. day by day. i feel more and more useless. been questioning if i had died, what would my friends and family feel. it is juz crap it seems that i could have died long ago and maybe life would have been better. i never knew wad it is to feel that someone would be there caring for me as i was down.
-sigh- i guess i juz have to follow the way i am following me although the pressure is pressing hard on me. IT SUCKS. i can take this much more. i wish i could shout out mu lungs, venting out my strength and anger. but i feel so dam tired. nothing i can do abt anything tat is happening.
dam the world. it has created stupid and disguting pressure tat makes ppl unable to do wad they wanna do.
all i have been doing is to be there for others, doing my best in everything i do. but all i get is being scolded, being depressed, being pulled down. even though i am tired. cant this stop? cant anyone understand wad i have been thru? it is as if i could die and no one would noe the reason why.
thinking about de things i have done, i have tried, i have hardly been rewarded. and if i take a rest, have some fun, all i get is a forceful ans to go back to being and idiot, unable to get any rest.
I have been there to work hard, try my best. and all i get is nothing? some might say it would come in a long run, but it hasn't show much result. whatsmore, some things i cant control, i cant do it alone. but... is there anyone there?

opps. very long nvr blog le.

2009-07-12T21:54:00.003+08:00

-sigh- as u can see i will only blog if i have nth better to do. or probably my mother doesn't allow me to play games but use the com..sad thing is... it is infuriating to see getting scolded for trying so hard. working so hard till there is no reward. -sigh- den if i dun work hard, i get scolded somemore. wth. i juz dont understand y.. it is juz so screwed up larhs. now i am oso starting tuition.. so crap la. english still ok. chinese so kns la.. have to memorise the text... kns la.. somemore my memory is getting worse and worse everyday..(not becos i am getting older-.=) dunno why oso leh. juz keep forgetting. -sigh- LIFE GET DAM BETTER PLS! kns.

AND rmbr to TAG!!

-sigh-

2009-06-23T21:26:00.002+08:00

wow. aren't i am surprised so many ppl bothered to tag. wonder why too... it is such a cool thing to happen.... LOLS. juz bored.
-sigh- seems to me.. i cant get enuf of stupid talk. if only tat if everyone could stop acting and do they wanna do or say. i noe it is there no need to hide. one maybe true to the heart. but please. juz leave me alone. i cant take anymore if one accidentallly or unknowingly hurt me. so for this moment and for the next few moments therefore. leave me alone.
dont worry if i am emoing. i can take de pressure for i have done for so many years. i will find a way to make myself more happy.in some way...

so bored. so lonely. so tired of things tat happen around me. so sick of myself. so wishing tat i have someone, some human being willing to listen to me, love, and accomparny me; making me feel better.

2009-06-19T21:06:00.000+08:00

thought this song rocks. with the lyrics.

ARGH!.

2009-06-19T21:01:00.002+08:00

life sucks. there i nothing much i hate about. i work hard still tio sarcastic remarks, tio scolding, tio all the wrong stuff. it sucks. hoped more things would come in a right way.. it is all wrong-sigh- all f-ing irritating. i dun feel like doing anything now. sometimes juz feeling i could die. -sigh- too whoever is reading dis post.. dont be a guai lan f-er. if u dont like it. den ignore or dun even read it.and whoever is doing funny stuff on my tagboard, i am not amused. it irks me. and if i noe who those people are tat are trying to be funny, i will ignore for the rest of my life;

yo peeps!

2009-06-09T20:39:00.003+08:00

i guess it has been really a while since i last blogged... March 31... -sigh- tat is really a long time
now is june the 9th wa. it is like 2 months++..
life's been sianz. what shall i do? hw?-sigh-. games?-sigh-... to boring. go out to play games or catch a movie?-sigh-.. no money.
WHAT SHALL I DO?bored to death i guess.
have been watching de NBA finals. so cool la. i wish i could play like them. but prob is now cant even shoot properly. trying to find out y..
soccer, difficult to train now. and i am full of injuries. my ankle, my knee, my arm... my shoes sucks. and my leg hurts becos of it. stupid.
i wish i could go to sch to learn stuff and no to do any homework. dat would be so cool and better than not doing anything at home...

2009-06-09T16:12:00.002+08:00

I found this song very nice!!:)ENJOY!

juz felt like it.

2009-03-31T21:26:00.003+08:00

-sigh-

-sigh-
SOOOOOOooooo BOREEEDDD.
no life sia. nth better to do. juz de same old stuff....
i wanna talk to ppl i can really trust. but i guess ppl are juz busy with their lifes. someone. anyone can u talk to me. And hopefully u are one tat i can trust.
aiyo a week since i blogged. too sianz to do it le ba.
wed and thurs all forget le. sighz...
friday is erm... LAN... played dota. feed a little. helped a little.
den played bball, went home. totally no life.
sat... nth much. slacked. sunday. slacked. nth much.
ytd.oso nth much.
today oso nth much.
Isn't this dumb? my life is all nth much... and i am blogging abt it..
-sigh- somebody please spice up my booooring life...
God has his ways...
oso.... juz wanna say sorry to those that for i have made a mistake.
be it a discrimination, dao-ed, guai lan-ed, or whatever i have done wrong..
Sorry.
I dont wanna name names. because i am too ashamed to type out their names. i do not have such a right.-sigh-
and dont ask me what has happened or who did it happen on..
the people that i have done wrong shud know...
May God also forgive me for what i have done.
-sigh-
getting emo-ed too. someone talk to me
otherwise i will be like talking to people thru my blog ... which is abit de dumb.
gonna die tmr, i guess. chi- havent do finish. home ec dont noe if can or not.. sad life i have.....
talk to me. treat me as ur fren for now i treat u as one. if u dont want me to irritate u... i can do it. BUT pls at least talk to me...

contd..

2009-03-24T17:03:00.000+08:00

den on wednesday,andrew decided to have a sleepover...so morning we ate breakfast den went to swim...followed by lunch and played BLock catching... and wa i couldnt even run la... i was already so tired... den soon we decided to go home to play dota... jing and qi xin came my hse to play.. after we played... [ cant we stop playing dota?? so sianz la] I went to watch movie with 2K ppl.. namely.. mei ting, chu hui, yi heng, aderline, andrew and jerome(: lols.
we went to tampines mall to watch street fighter:the legend of chun li..
it was a quite nice move larhs. quite adventurous and stuff...
i dunno but i think was talking to myself during de movie.. LOLS. i think i too got too much to say. and too lonely. too bored maybe...-.=
den we took a trip to the food court to eat.. but only one person ate lols...
we den decided to go to the arcade.. i juz watched them play lorhs.... anw de games all abit sianz le.. LIFE IS SO DAM SIANZ!!ARGH!!
den ran to andrew's hse to play, watch movie and SLEEPOVER!! woos!
nxt morning, we all went to eat breakfast den went home to play dota..
packed bag for LDC camp den slept.
Friday. aiyo. dam kns. for 2days 1 night i think total we pump abt 1000 le...
night oso dont have time to sleep.. sleep like only 2 hrs..
at night oso like pump 300 like tat kns...but at least in the camp quite cool la. they slack den suddenly strict... so pro. and abit stressful la. slack oso cannot slack. but anw after all it is a leadership training camp..
aft camp went to eat KFC.. i ate like 1 ultimate value box+ 1 zinger student meal with upsized drink..wa and it was juz nice...
went home straight sleep le.. sleep frm 8 pm to 12 pm.. abt 16 hrs...sooo tired lahs...
yesterday.. first day of 2nd term.. ok la.. -sigh- but i am gonna die tmr.. got sheng dan jing chou and fei ying havent do yet... GG and still need prepare yan jiang and do english story thing.. -sigh- but those 2 quite easy la...-sigh- time to slack now.... wad A LONG POST.. for me tat is...(:

LONG TIME NO BLOG!!!

2009-03-24T16:41:00.003+08:00

~phew~ juz finished my LDC 1 camp not long ago... so tiring.. and sad too.... i didnt get best trainee award BUT it's ok. i still got best platoon!! lols.. aiyo i nvr post for like 15 days like tat...kns lots to catch up on..so it is before hols.... erm everything forget le... :P so during hols.... monday got morning soccer den went home play dota on garena with frens.. a typical hols activity...-sighs- SSOooooo BORING. den tues... all de bb ppl all busy.. got aq and recruitment. so left me andrew and de rest... not many ppl so we didnt do much juz breakfast dota and aft soccer...boring again.. -sighs- Dont u think my life is so no life?? i am dam bored of it but i dont noe wad i shud do. BORING

i juz dunno wad to say to u.. even though we are juz frens. i cant stop thinking y we cant communicate well like great frens. it juz feels so wierd. -sigh- i dont mind juz looking at u silently, making sure u are juz happy....

Tired, I am.

2009-03-09T20:46:00.003+08:00

aiyo. another week has passed.juz nice today is a monday.
..... feels so long and sad. ok. last tuesday is eng compre common test. got it back today... 11/20... juz passed=.=
-sigh- suddenly i cant rmbr anything and have no mood to write...erm. fri do some stuff for bb.. den on sat. got promotion. I am a Lance Corporal now!. lols. -sigh- den sunday. nth much. today. oso nth much. went to andrew's hse played 1 round of dota den played guitar hero world tour... -sigh-
my heart is feeling fragile. i dont noe y.maybe it's becos i am too stressed up.or it is another reason.-sigh- i dunno wad to do in life. too bored.

AIYO. i so lazy.

2009-03-02T20:44:00.003+08:00

-sigh- since the fans of my blog are pressing on me to blog....:)
I SHALL!!!
hahas. aiyo. now 1 week blog once. will forget de... shit.
erm... so.wa. last tuesday.... erm. i think i stayed back in sch.... slacked. and crap....oh ya. tat day was chinese common test rite? i got 17/50... KNS
cannot rmbr a single thing and comprehension screwed up. lols so low marks..[FAIL]...):
wed... oso nth much... -sigh-
thurs... erm... dont rmbr... -sigh- old le. dont rmbr anything. seems everyday is juz a day. unless is super memorable...
FRi.. as usual.. the most fun day of the weekdays.... lols. art... well la.
chinese sianz. as usual. PE!!! played captain's ball.... not super fun but ok...
YAY. again no cca on fri... but on sat... tio tekan lor. cause got LDC1.... so sucky. tio pump like shit. aiya.normal le la. bet during camp will be like hell la.. cannot sleep for tat 1 night... sad case... confirm got night patrol and some fire drill or tsunami drill as heard frm seniors.... -sigh- den we went to eat yoshinoya.... den went home. den night went out to eat dinner. followed by going to my uncle's hse[my grandfather's hse but he passed away if u dont noe...] watched my cousins play dota. they same team against pub but they lost cause some part screwed up.... shall not elaborate..
sunday. church. come home slacked, played games. den slept.
TODAY. slacked. emoed. -sigh- bored out. ACC screw up. even though i cheated on the man jiang hong of first paragraph... still sucked... lols.
bet will fail de. but as long whole ACC dont fail can le. lols.
den Mr seow dont let me sit beside chu hui.. make me sit beside yi liang again... stupid... dumb of him... lols.
den music. joel's grp performed well.. but zi heng hardly sang la. yi liang tried his best... sry if i say wrongly... xD..
aft sch went to cut my hair.. doesnt look nice. but short can le la. who cares? Lols. jkjk. everyone cares rite?? ty... hahas. :P...
played soccer den bball. den came home at dinner and now blogging..
-sigh- my home ec is screwed up... i need redo everything .. sianz...
I juz hope tat day by day u dont hate me...Dont wanna lose u. I love u and there's no reason to it. and its who i love and not how u look like... I juz wanna look into ur eyes. silently and sincerely.

wa. SHIOK!

2009-02-23T20:35:00.004+08:00

wa.. wanted to blog. more often. but i think i preferred talking to her loves
SO LOOONG nvr blog le. lots to talk abt. shit. i scared forget.
ok. so stop on wed. aiya shit wed forget le.so thurs.aiya oso nth much.
den friday. pe was dam fun... dont wanna elaborate.
saturday.. got bb.. got tekaned. pump here pump there....
den sunday. went to celebrate her bdae... met at bedok mrt then waited at bedok macs till everyone came.
den took 16 to Kallang Leisure Park. ice skate for the first time. so cool la.
managed to learn how.. on my own.. so cool. anyhow copy oso can learn.
wa. she was dam pro la. I got injured.. and was pain. but i tolerated....
all the pain was all worth it. seeing her is just a joy. but seeing her 'emo' makes me feel useless. unable to cheer her up.-sigh-
YAY. den went to eat KFC. and some arcade. won ky at street fighter 4.... first time i tyco. den onwards own le.haha xD. den took 16 to bedok den mrt to tampines and walked home....
Today. confirm wont forget. frm first period, i sat where wee liang would sit... until end of sch.... lols. only mr seow bothered abt it. ms khoo didnt care....HAHAs. better ask mr seow tmr.... den i stayed back in sch to slack....
staying with her, makes me feel assured. assured with her safety. unable to express myself, i typed to her wad i was thinking. and it happened. i held her hand. a warm feeling frm her hand was felt. it was THE experience.
den went to play soccer with andrew they all... so fun...
TATS all. i guess.

SHIOK AH! so cool.

2009-02-17T21:06:00.008+08:00

-sigh- back to blogging. find a bit sianz. but the sianzness is killing me.

so i have to write.lols. no blogging these few days. maybe she is the one tat i have been using my time on.....

wa. i stopped on thurs. so

FRI. class got scolded by luo lao shi. dunno wad shit la. got misunderstanding and wadeva. waste 1/2 hour of pe. stupid teacher.
then played floorball... so fun. got yi heng this time so there was...
ST. HILDA's POWER!!! lols.
then we owned. then went for bb.. had archery. took a bus to Tampines Safra.HAHA. i followed the AQ team even though i dropped out le. then shoot few times. sucked. cause if u noticed...... my arm is slanted. so shoot oso slanted.lols.den we all went to alvin's cuz new stall to eat curry rice...
was quite nice la. but no discount): LoLs. kidding.nvm de.
den went to TM to buy charles an extra present cause the first one... was like too cheap while sarah was more expensive then his at FIRST. lols felt a bit bad so i wanted to buy more for him...
SAT.woo! oso dam fun. i was cycling with the AQ team again. frm east coast park to bedok to bedok resevoir to sunplaza park then back again.
legs were cramming but was fun la. so long nvr cycle le. then suddenly went back to cycle so all the pain is GONE. so FUN. then ate at burger king..
when going back home, jing xin realised tat his wallet was gone and we went back to get it. found it, went home , bathed and went on to charles bade party.
WA. feel so tired la. still go there hiong play bball...
and somemore play with xin yong... he is gd..maybe i was tired then.. and he was wearing jeans then so we didnt play at our fullest...
or maybe i am juz praising myself LOLS(:
den ate played ate played. then went home le.
bathed, lie on bed, straight dead asleep.
SUN. went to church as per normal. talked to nicholas khor more. last week dunno much abt him.. now is MORE.woo! got new fren.
den went to TM to buy gracia , alvin and her bdae present...
then went home and played like 2 matches of dota. then went to eat dinner.
-sigh- write so much le.... are u all tired or reading? take a rest..
She said she like me and i like her.. :)
so on MON. erm. quite sianz lor. qi xin came my hse and we played dota. with the rest.
TUES. which is today.... lols. erm. some cuttng hair incident.. with christine and lots of screaming frm christine .... lols ppl disagreed with the angel and mortal scheme... i dont mind la. cause will be quite fun ma. then malay... oso dam funny. everyone was like asking sick questions to the teacher. then she was like" my ears are burning" lols...
den aft sch went to play soccer... in sch. den jing xin came my hse... played dota.. and den played bball... wa. so off form la today. maybe too tired le.
-sigh- oso.. if u dunno... my math got 28 and hist 25 1/2.... not bad rite? haha.
~ever sianning~

train ah!

2009-02-12T20:37:00.002+08:00

lols... today....
AIYA.. talk abt tuesday first...
so erm.... math common test not very diff to do.. hope get full marks(:
malay dam funny sia...LKY go ask the malay teacher(female)...
" Are u Married?","U got boyfren?" and "Are u a virgin?"
then teacher go say no to all the qns LOLs....
if u dont understand. then ask me(: LOLS
Wednesday... erm.also dam fun.nth much doing sch la. but aft sch...
alvin and i went to play bball...like siao. first go sheltered play then got chased out by junyuan... there, i shot a few 3-pointers++ chop!!!
then as it rained la... so we juz go play at park de... nvm lor..
so we got drenched. but we kept on scoring like shit.. dam fun...
then today...during chinese i go stick "i am a gay" on guan wen..
as instructed by some ppl.... LOLs. took pics and laughed...haha!
aft sch went the swimming complex gym with andrew lim, alvin and augustine... we do here a bit there abit... oso fun... then went to eat some food... followed by bball! THEN come home le(:

wa... so not active le... 4 days nvr blog....):

2009-02-09T20:37:00.002+08:00

kns... so long nvr blog... must be com can start to play games then become not active le...sad case.
last friday.. not much.. got art.. tried drawing federer...
chinese.. sianz. pe.. was floorball... then got short bb meeting....
then nth much le.... then saturday... got bb.. did rope tying, learning for adventure badge.. then some tent pitching exercises....then played bball... then ate lunch in sch cos got provide lunch....then enoch came my hse... then played bball....again at tampines.
Sunday... went church. played dota frm came back to church till dinner...!lols.then watched HBO... then slept:)
TODAY.... erm.. nth much ba. the funny and typical parts of music..
HAHA XD!!
then played soccer and bball.. HIONG ah!... soccer run here run there...
then dam funny when i kept patting daryl's head like dog.... hahah...
well.. tats all..
better stop using so many THENs...
lols too sianz le ba.. xD.
~ever sianning~

YAY!(:

2009-02-05T20:38:00.003+08:00

yay!! my com finally can play games and stuff le....
so good...-sigh- failed in keeping it alive... cause com under repair of my sis...
so...i stopped at wa... last friday.....
so erm saturday morning had bb.. cny celebrations. play soccer and bball then ate lunch then played again....
sunday... went to church got angbaos....then erm... forgot le....
then monday...nth much... only music dam funny... the little nyonya the song i go sing... then everyone laugh at me.... LOLS...
tuesday is erm... the hist test not so bad.....not so diff... then nth much then aft sch yi liang came to tampines with me... wanting to come my hse... but we played bball then he went home le..
wednesday.... nth much.... mr ong nvr come... chinese... we scam teacher tat thurs then ting xie but actually on wed... haha...(:
then home econ tio scolded... cause proposal do not proper... then we no time meet to go library so no book source... luckily mrs looi helped us...
TG!TG!
skipped FTI... then played abit of soccer before heading home....
TODAY.... lols the hist so funny... beginning got quiz one... then got 12 qns..
first six, my grp nvr get correct... then the top grp was 25 marks...
then 2nd rnd of qns then we caught up with them and got tie-breaker...
then i ans the qn like NO KICK!... lols
the qn was " where did the peranakans live in the olden days.."
the ans is Katong...
LOLS....then we won...
then nth much le... go andrew's hse then played bball a little then go home!.....
~ever sianning~

DAMN TIRED>.<....

2009-01-30T20:40:00.002+08:00

i stopped on wednesday...so..
thurs... quite sianz la.. but got lao yu sheng.. then i go sabo hilary and hui zhen into saying the thing again... cause Mrs J.Koh forgot.. lols then saw kp faces....( actually only 1)...haha!!...
then went home.. then played soccer... thursday one was very fun sia.... got past so many ppl and dam cool.... like i oleh augustine... with a simple flick den got past him le.. at a corner where i was pushed by 2 ppl including august.... so fun...then went home again..
fri... TOdaAY!.. art.. quite sianz... chi sianz... pe .. fun!.. do some touch rugby, running, den soccer... then aft sch.. got short bb meeting.. pumped 60 then ended... then play soccer with jon tay and jason they all.. then went back to pri sch to see pri sch bb CNY celebrations.. so cool la.. their drill so shitty compared to secondary sch la... den aft tat played soccer again.. saw domenic, ashvin joshua and shubin james there.... hearing tat shubin wants to transfer to AHS.... YAY.. so cool la... and want to come BB also.. 1 more member for BB but not so sure when he coming....
~ever sianning.~

wa so sianz.. got so much stuff going on!!

2009-01-28T22:20:00.005+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!

erm.. where did i stop? o.O sat morning.. so sat havent say....
erm... then i went to play soccer at junyuan sec... with andrew lim and the rest....
then..... ate reunion at home.. the end for saturday..
sunday... went to church.. followed by a trip to TM to buy my bag.. then helped my dad wash car... wa.. i didnt noe the car's engine so cool sia..(my dad opened it to let me see)
then went to my mother's side to eat reunion and watched my cousin play some i think it is Talisman..... then went on to my father's side to eat reunion... then went for a midnight movie.... and saw johan... my senior...at TM..
CHu Yi---- first day of chinese new year...woke up.... my uncle and aunt( younger than my dad) came to visit before we all went downstairs to my oldest uncle...(if u didnt noe.. my oldest and youngest uncle lives the same block as us) to eat mee sua.. a tradition tat we always do.... then at abt 4... i went to my mother's side de hse there... played dota for a while.. ate dinner and went home.....
CHu Er----2nd day of chinese new year.... woke up.. went to my mother's foster side of the family.... first it was my 5th uncle then my 7th uncle...
7th uncle is the one tat lives near AHS.... then he kp me saying the whole of last year nvr go see him.... cause i will walk past his hse wan... and i realised tat my cousin also play dota/garena.....
lols..then went to 4th uncle's hse for a while then to yiping's hse cause i didnt like to be at my 4th uncle's hse watching tv..so i went to yiping's hse..... talked and ate bbq.... then went home....
then TODAY.... quite fun..
went to sch in home clothes... had some sianz activities....but quite funny de....
then after sch go play LAN.. i tio sucked.... cause so long nvr play... sia.. not used to it....
then went to eat lunch and played bball before come home lor....

~ever siannning~

wa... damn tired...

2009-01-24T11:11:00.002+08:00

LOLs yesterday was damn fun...
firstly went to class then a while later... somebody got stripped and taupoked some guy...
then as it was ZIHENG's bdae.... so they also taupoked him.... HAHAH so funny....
Happy Bdae Ziheng!
then it was art.. and as usual.... the guys were playing dota...
then it was chinese.. dam sianz.. as normal...
then pe dam toot la... the run i beginning run to fast le.. then tio stitch..
then played captainball.....
[LOLS.. so many "then"s...]
after school went back to shps and said hi to mr soong and met up with shps schmates.. followed by a short session of soccer... then bball.. then was abt to meet up with andrew to play soccer ... but when reach there they were juz sitting down and talking....
enoch alvin and me were trying to do CBC i could la.. but then i too tired le... i kept on crampping...dam pain lols..
then we went to bball court and shot some hoops then enoch kept on saying dumb things like" see i got aimbot..... alvin dun have.. tats y u missed..."haha dam funny....
then grabbed bandung and went home...
-sigh- too tired le..

wa so toot!

2009-01-22T21:02:00.003+08:00

sianz.. ennui of my life......
haha mrs koh recognised my effort! and i randomly got tat word de.. ennui..
somemore she say my vocab gd... but it sucks lols

yesterday, erm.. nth much lor.... learn a few notes of guitar frm andrew lim (vic sch) so cool..
then played bball then go home.. the end..
then today, more fun la.. during english dam funny..
mrs koh was going thru pplz examples for the wksht.. then she say the wad ah..
" ....break thru the cordon.." then aaron go say break thru the condom... lols haha
then also, zi heng go say dunno the girls or the gurads.. horny when mrs koh asked wad to describe those ppl... haha....
during math lesson, we do admin stuff then mr seow say cannot stand up unless allowed to..
then some ppl like joel and eugene act smart bring chair without standing.. lols
then yi liang go sit in front of window then mr seow ask him go back to his place but he go say he wan see outside.. then mr seow say if he stand then go stand outside ...
then he kept on asking de sec 1 to come his hse... kai yuan also like tat...
then de sec 1 give guai lan faces.... dam funny... den before we could leave classroom..
mr seow made a comparison like some toot poem sia.. dunno wad 2J is like the peace then 2K dunno wad noisy or crap la.. like he saying some great phillosphy like tat sia.. so wierd..

then aft sch is BB! damn crap la.. we wear full uniform for like 20 mins only then change le..
somemore de sec 1 dunno where they go.... then they came late... then we played some lame games.. like erm wad hands or legs cannot be on grnd... then wheelbarrow relay.. then captainfruits... then my grp, charlie owned! haha got coke as prize... then at dinner at kfc then go home...

-confused!-

2009-01-20T21:28:00.002+08:00

sianz... i cant decide whether to go cross-country sia...
sianz.. then today i didnt go for aq.. i went stadium run with james for dam short sia...
my stamina got prob sia.. felt dam tired... then also tried my 1oom sprint.. i feel like i do damn slow sia.. only 14.5 s..
then today's common test seems ok la... nth much to say cause 1day only... haha... read the below post la.... tis post not interesting unless u can help me decide if i should go..

wa.... quite crazy..

2009-01-19T21:02:00.002+08:00

loools.. so toot sia...
where did i last stop?...
erm.... oh ya.. the concert.. then i went in..
sat with BB pplz.. then ppl were shouting pplz names then one time everyone stop shouting then i shouted HAI XIN damn loud then everyone look at me... LOLS...
haha. then aft tat went home le.. the concert okok la.. nth much special but nth bad la...
Then sunday, go church then went home sleep then went to buy some new year's stuff ...
i was lookin for shirts and jeans then i went into this shop called erm.. sub.
then i chose a long-sleeved black shirt, short-sleeved white shirt, black jeans, a lightblue-greyish jeans, a jacket, a belt and i altogether u noe how much?
aft discount somemore..

472!! siao la i was like.. should i buy or not lolz...
long shirt is 79 short shirt is 65 then jacket 100 jeans 100 each then belt 65..
damn siao sia... lols

then today nth much lors... aft sch is BB.. i forgot bring my attire heng nvr tio pump...
then quite slack lors.
then play soccer then go home... sianz..

damns~ever sianning~ever ennui~ :):(

yay(:

2009-01-17T17:42:00.002+08:00

haha this few days i have been busy with...

NTH! lols..
the only few things are bb activities lor..
thurs... erm nth much... aft sch then go home then soccer.... nth much..
then on fri.... i had bb and sec 1s were to choose cca!..
but sad... only 12 sec1s come into bb..
lols.. well tat wasnt my job so the rest went to go have devotion and mini navigation around sch..
it was only 4 checkpoints and dam slack lols esp for my squad.... then...
when we ending le... going to back to sch.. we decided to run... then on the way i saw..
2k pplz!!! haha xD!! ty for support!!
then ran back then ended le lor...
sianz.. then today got AQ mock race.. it was frm sch to 5 checkpoints, ending at kovan mrt...
lols then we went to like our 4 checkpoint or our last checkpoint before kovan mrt..
it was in geylang... where my church is nearby..haha... then glenn, jing xin and wayne..
walked past hotel 81 then we saw got lots of girls standing outside sia lols
then glenn was like wah tat white one not bad eh.... LOLS..
then so when we were walking to kovan mrt.. it was chao luan la... got new road then
our map was 2006 only so dunno the road change.. so we blindly walked.. following bearing towards north.. then we started asking ppl where it was.. then when we reached there,
we realised tat we were FIRST!.. oh yeh!..haha
then now i going to my sch de concert band de concert.... le... bb..
~ever sianning~

lols!

2009-01-14T20:55:00.002+08:00

haha today.... for a long time in my life since p6... i have been scolded by teacher..
by Mrs lui( i think)
haha cause i took ziheng's wallet frm the table ( she confiscated from ziheng)
and she doesnt noe....then suddenly when going end the lesson.. then she found out tat the wallet
DISAPPEAR! lols!
then someone go say is me and a few ppl then tio warning..
then she say it is our last warning... she didnt even give me a warning be4 la...
LOLs.
... tats for home ec...

before tat was..some lessons nth special la...
then aft sch had a short meeting with aq saying tat got mock race on saturady... quite sianz la..
then aft tat i went andrew lim's hse to play dota! i so long nvr play dota sia.. but i only play for a while then i watch them play le):
then soccer. then come home... BORING!

A Day Has Just Passed.

2009-01-13T21:04:00.003+08:00

-sigh-
although i started blogging again...
i cant do much.. my com too slow then if i were to update my blog
with all the new links, blogskin and extra stuff
it will take dam long... and i dont have tat much time... ):
so plz bear with me until my com is properly working or i get a new com...

today, almost like a normal day.... with the change of my class chairperson,
some diagnostic test, some malay vocab and still lots of laughter...
although i am known as a monkey... (i look like one)
i dont think tat every should suan and kp me .... cause i have out of the ordianary features sia..
i feel wierd sometimes...):
then aft sch do the math olympiad thing. quite slack la... i lazy answer.... then i anyhow do..
played a little soccer then it rained.... got drenched then i went home, rested
then played soccer again.....
-sigh- wad a normal boring day with the addition of no dota!

erm... plz tell me those things tat are wrong with my blog.. like links tat link to nowhere,
or maybe i somethings nvr update...
PLEASE TELL ME (:

i am back... for the moment...

2009-01-12T16:15:00.002+08:00

my com spoil le....it is on safe mode now...
i cant play games):
wakao i nvr blog for like 3 months le..... haha
too busy going out, CCA, playing sports and games... until no time blog lols.....

wa.. my class abit toot la... but dam funny...
Got the christine foo frm 1E de.... then the whole of my class keep on suaning her
then she dam pekchek... haha
my class com also abit wierd.. so many boys de...
higher chinese students will also noe tat guan wen frm 1E (current class chairperson)
say F*** word in chinese class then huang lao shi dunno.... somemore he say dma loud..
throughout the class.... then huang lao shi dunno... HAHAH

then today lor... is BB day..
anyone got see me?(:
no rank yet la.... sianz otherwise got another few badges like 6 more....
i also look quite toot rite? haha:P
then suddenly today the music lesson, Ms Lee keep on looking at me when she choosing music rep sia... then she at the end choose me..... kns la.... so wierd de..
i be music rep abit wierd lols....hahah some ppl should noe y...:P

wa so long nvr type on blog ah.. feels so wierd now juz typing a few sentences....
sianz... ever sianning... ennui ah ennui ...
i hope i get new com, new phone.. and i think tats all...
cause i everything else get le...
new bed, new shoes, new socks, new bag...
oh ya! new SLING bag... i havent get yet.... and more games!

hehehe~

2008-09-30T21:01:00.002+08:00

i have been busy.... now i am quite free....
TAT is..... less hw cause EOY coming le.... lots of revision though...
cant wait for the FUN i could have aft Eoys.... hahah(: lots of fun....
-sigh- still sianz of my life.....
cant help it bah......
And... yeh! i am an author for my class blog......
sooooooo i can help my class blog more active........ haha....
still suck at dota la... not as pro as charles LOL...
still so nub......>.<..
nth to talk bah ... Nxt thurs can slack le!!.....
my math no need to really study lol...... so cant wait LOL

-sigh-

2008-09-16T20:44:00.002+08:00

sry ppl.... if u missed me and my blogging.....
i was sick.... and was resting.... next thing of course tat i was packed with hw,...... then was tests aft tests.....
oh so sad isn't it? LOL i dont think tat u think so....
wadeva la... then I AM JUZ GONNA tell u ppl tat i WON'T be blogging till maybe EOY exams end.....sad.......juz to inform u ppl some things..... MY miniolympics... i was chosen to go soccer and road relay..... and my CA2 progress report sucked..... got average only 68.sth......
sad... SA1 got 71.3.......-sigh-...sad..>.<
but i dont really care.....wth la
then this fri got paper 1 for eng and chi... sianz... my 2 worst subjects.........SIANZ dao....
SRY PPL I WONT BE REALLY BLOGGING MUCH....
SRY FOR NOT BEING ACTIVE FOR A LONG TIME AND ANOTHER FEW WEEKS>.<...
-evil laughter- MUhahhahahahahhaha!!!!

-sigh- life's been complicated....

2008-08-16T23:30:00.003+08:00

lol... long time since i last blogged...
( or is it to me?...)
wadeva la....
erm where did i last stop??i think it was wednesday bah...
then on thurs got hist test... quite easy la.. but some not so sure....
then on fri dam shiok la.... no BB then all my friends have....hahah......
but of course... sat have BB la... quite fun la...
wouldnt say not fun la...got pain, got fun... been in BB for so long le la...
everywhere also de same....got sianz part and dam shiok part.....
then aft BB i go plz LAN.. go play DOTA.. then i still dam noob la.... so underlvl....
crappy ppl.. nobody can teach me how to buy stuff and how to use each hero de..
so bad ppl cannot help me learn...
been playing since pri 3 la.... but everytime nobody tell me wad to do de....
walao... saddistic ppl..
nvm la.... i forgive u all.....
BUT U MUST HELPPPP ME!!!
...blahblah blah.....
tmr must chiong my hw la.. sianz..
nxt sat also got stupid chinese oral... dam sianz la..... sec chi chers also nvr teach properly
how to blah blah abt oral de la.....suddenly got 1 oral come de...in less than 3 weeks....
crap them...

~but YOU made me believe....kidnap my heart..take me with you.. kidnap my heart...make my dreams come true....~

life's been busy:)

2008-08-13T16:35:00.002+08:00

hahah...
crappy stuff has been happening and lots of hw... sianz..
got so many tests somemore... then 5 aug... got NDP rehearsal..
then 8 aug so busy..
got NDP in sch.. then went for movie.. then LAN.. then played soccer... so zhai...
sunday have soccer.. at junyuan.. then we drawed or won.. and only lost 1 match!! everyone was so happy la... Gd Job ppl!! :)...
haha..hahah
then nxt day go eat breakfast at mac's and played LAN be4 i went to slack and played badminton..
i was so nub la.. andrew thrashed me....LOL..
yesterday.. was dam heng la... form and co-form cher nvr come... then chi i nvr do..... but heng ah.. nvr scold...
I DAM LUCKY.. i tell u..
the whole weekend also nvr do a single hw.....and nvr got scolded....
HENG ah! TGTG!!!

Class Headaches...

2008-08-04T22:26:00.002+08:00

Aiyo .. my class has a damn big prob with juz getting a damn class tee.... need to waste
so much time juz doing the colour decision...
-sigh- cant help much.. the class committee has to start doing someting to finish the class tee and
go and order it and confirm everything.. they are really doing things very slowly....
i am like so busy le...with this and tat... not like some ppl... so slack de...
walao.. HURRY UP!! i wanna my class tee!! and A nice 1 too.....
sianz....
i also feel tat my class has no unity and is crappy cause they are quite childish?
they always treat things like fun and laughter... dont really noe when to be serious..
and when to be not... seems like my class is a little like my primary sch classes..
so noisy and crappy...
damn sianz..

erm.. quite sianz..AGAIN..

2008-08-04T22:11:00.002+08:00

YAY! today i managed to find time to come blog... aiyo.. today's sci test and ting xie quite......
SIANZ?!?!?
aiya dun care la...
then aft sch i had BB drill training and PT(physical training)..
The whole thing was damn funny la....
the drill training i think i strain too much strength until my arm dam pain say..
then during pt try do pumping also damn diff la... dam tiring also..
cause havent fully recover frm 2.4 km run tat day... damn hiong la..
aft the 2.4 km run, still went to go play basketball and soccer la..
make me so tired....my muscle crapping up la..
TMR.....got eng test la...the situational writing..brochure...>.<...
then on wed got chinese test.. MUST DO WELL!!! so today also must study...):

Life has always been like this...
So many things to go through .. yet nth significant has been done..
we all disappear on day or another....
It is all predestined... we cant really do much abt it..

THANK YOU!!

2008-08-03T20:59:00.001+08:00

Thanks yiping for helping me to change my blog.....
AND THANK GOD MOST OF ALL!!!!!!!!!
okok... i thank God for everything?
nvm..again i so dumb... nvr keep my blog active.. only like every week once... NOT ENOUGH!!!
trying to find time to type all these....
Sianz... this week gonna be damn busy la....like last week.....
the last time i posted was monday rite?:)
ok.. so on tuesday... i had the hist test and it was quite boring.. got like 2 qn i forgot.. then
after sch.... had to go for NBQ (national bible quiz?? for BB de....) but be4 tat.. we went to help uncle hassan with the preparations for the nxt day's meeting with zhengzhou ppl....(like carrying chairs..)
then we of course... went for the NBQ.. and did chpts 1 to 7 and etc.. all abt samuel....
ON wednesday... we had normal stuff... then my ENg cher go ask us do grp brochure
for preparation on 'this week's situational writing' and then we were all busy lol....
we had to do on the day itself which was super zhai la....
i had my grp do the brainstorming while i slacked... cause i knew i had to summarise and put everything together.... so i was like SIANZ..
ON THURSDAY.. i had three tests.... math common ( which i didnt study..) and e lit which i tried to decipher it by myself(revision) then these 2 tests when quite well... THE LASt test was the most sianz one.. it was the AMC( australian math contest) it was not super diff.. but i was slacking until no time to do all the calculations leaving no time for me to finish the last 2 qns....
after sch was of course,... NDP rehearsal la.... as per normal.... we had the whole thing.. but i felt tat is was a little screwed up.. the dressing only actually... during standing and during marching....
NVM la.. MUST DO WELL during real thing can liao... HOPEFULLY....
then yesterday i dam hiong la.. i didnt want to la.. but i was bored...
i had 2.4km run for NAPFA.. got 7 th in whole lvl boys!! yay!! but was like kena 'bullied' by ppl aft the run...
then aft tat i had a sumtuous brunch at mac's.. then went home to play com with ryan and hong yu.... then when to play basketball.. i still suck at it.. then aft tat.. when to play soccer...
then went home and was DAMN DAMN tired la...
tats abt it... HOPING FOR THE BEST THIS WEEK!!!slacker signing off......

2008-08-01T21:07:00.002+08:00

hey people..
haha..
i'm yiping...
helped jerome to change blogskin...
nice right...
(((:
so yea..
hahah...
jerome, you better be thankful...
:DDD
cheers...

Sry for lying!!..

2008-07-28T21:59:00.001+08:00

i nvr make my blog active......>.<....
so dumb..
SRY PPL I VERY BuSY with hw and sianz.. stuff these few days....
nth special really..
ok.. let's go back in time.. back to last tuesday...
there was the homerun thingy.. not very fun and exciting ....
[Got 7th place] out of 10 ....
went abt City Hall, Raffles Place, Esplanade and places around there.. tat have historical thingy..
with SG.... was sianz la..
my face was like diao.... BUT 1 thing.. the VJC ppl not as bad as tat siao siao guy go make Jing Xin's toe injured....[dam tat guy!!]
then wed... got wad ah?? ah nvm forgot le
... Thurs too.. forgot le...
sry too busy .. to rem anything..
then fri got NDP training and PE got NAPFA!..
NAPFA i was dam heng la... 'A' was 214cm then i lucky lucky got 217cm...
heng loh...
NOW I GOT 5 'A's out of 6 'A's le...
Then got NDP rehearsal aft sch then it was sianz.. too..
was damn tired la.. frm P.E and all tat....
it rained then we started late... and screwed up a lot...
THe last few time, scouts and BB both screwed timing for march past and scolded by mr yeow...
NEarly kena pumping but heng ah....
then last time we did it well although it was crappy......nvm la
is the drum so muffled loh... not our prob..
cannot hear... esp. me
my ears so small cannot hear well de......
then sat... was a little sianz...too.Ooo..
got bible thingy for NBQ for BB de....
then go play LIKE SIAO!!!..
play soccer, basketball and games...
then sunday.. juz the normal church and etc....
THEN TODAY!!!... FINALLLLLY!!
ok.. nth much.. was tired...and everything..then got drill training ... at the end was funny and learnt the hentaking song.. we shall not be ..blahblah blah.....
then here.. typing out my crappiness. and sianzz...ness....wadeva...saw some ppl's blogs so exciting.. got so many gd things happening .....and fun ones too .....
SIANZ>>>
tomorrow got hist test and i slacking here.. i gonna sleep le la......

Signing off, 10.35pm....

YAy.. Today.... qUite sianz.. but entertaining..

2008-07-21T20:41:00.005+08:00

In the morning,during math, the mrs chuah talk a lot...blah blah...
then got eng... even worse...
Got some thingy.. need to write like compo like tat.. then chinese.....
have ting xie.. then nvr learn.. lucky got pass[hehe...(:]
then got sci.. MR ONG>..<.....proer....
teach rate and accelaration....
Lit got some grp wrk and thinking abt similie and personification....
Then give us individual work need to hand in on thurs.... dam la
need to do poem ....need to this do tat.. the.......crap thingy.. wadeva la
then aft.. need go chiong go CCA- BB(Boys' Brigade)
we had drill training and it was sec 1 squad 3 so funny lol(:
we laughed with yong chen dam funny....
LOL..
so much crappiness
then GO HOME!!
WHOO!!! here typing the blog...
got work to do sianz....
BUT anticipating tmr's " amazing race cum heriatge trail" thingy.. with VJC...
had a bad expierence with one of the dam VJC guy.. go make jx toe injured....
BASKET tat guy man....

i feel so wrong....

2008-07-20T21:18:00.002+08:00

I went to see my fellow shps schmates' blogs.. very touching leh...
( I not being sarcastic...) I really felt it... the missing and everything...
I really can.. I really can.. feel the way that we miss our friends and past memories....
It is all coming back to me... my heart feels it....i really wish tat i also too could relieve those days as everyone was young, innocent and good loving ppl....

My mind is ....omg..... slowly but feeling the emptiness in my heart...
-sigh- i miss the good old days... the... the.... crapiness and heartfelt scoldings....( not really the scoldings)

-----sad------

Awaiting the days ahead!!

2008-07-20T20:17:00.004+08:00

Monday, may be death day.. I slacking.. nvr do hw..
Tuesday, yay!!:) got some amazing race..!!! can slack!!
WednesDAY, sianz......-_-".....
Thursday, Kays.. got slack to com...
Friday, HEY!!! go PLAY LIKE SIAO KENG!!!

this week nia..
so boring life say...
nth special...
HOW TO MAKE THIS BLOG ALIVE??
S.O.S HELP!!

OMG!!

2008-07-18T21:41:00.002+08:00

On wednesday, sth TErriBLE happened!!
My Friend , Alvin was hit by glass!! the soccer ball hit himmm....-_-
ThESoccerBall hit the light on the ceiling of the void deck.. and
"plank!PLaNk..!!!!" then " OW!!"
it was phenomenon..... so scary...
I was LIKE OMG WTF!!!
and i called the ambulance:)
A small crowd grew too and his parents..(LIKE DUH!!)
then he went to hosp. .....lucky he only got 2 stiches..... not so bad..
BUT BAD ENOUGH>.< very pain de leh...

More abt me.....

2008-07-17T20:35:00.001+08:00

U noe about privacy rite?? so i wont tell REAL THINGS abt me....
i will only say general things like ....
I am a Secondary Student now.. at AHS- Anglican High School
now i am only a secondary 1....
so to the new sch environment....it is ok ba....
My CCA is Boys' Brigade.... It is the 14th Singapore Company...
My 'New' Sch is a little crappy...not really used to the secondary envrionment ...
BUT some new subjects quite interesting.....
Lots of tests and....
NEW FRIENDS^_^....
The teachers very loso....and laceh.......so sianz....

Signing off......

Hi!!!

2008-07-17T20:32:00.003+08:00

Hi...I am making a blog!! I am gonna try to make it active.....like writing every week..
Cause I very Busy de... :)
Plz comment on my blogs... BUT PLZ DO NOT WRITE CRAP.
OTHERWISE .....
so.... plz help to make this blog an active and lively one...

TYTYTYTYTYTYTYTYTYTYTYTY!!!!